My father was admitted to the hospital to have a pacemaker inserted. He was elderly and the doctor wanted him to spend one night in the hospital as a precaution. He had the pacemaker installed and everything went fine. After staying with him for most of the day, I returned again in the evening to watch his favorite TV show, Jeopardy, with him. He was doing well and seemed happy.

In the morning, I received a call from a doctor at the hospital recommending that Dad be placed in a nursing home. He was insistent that Dad needed 24 hour care. I assured him that we would provide Dad with the care he needed at home. He stated repeatedly that Dad would not be able to be left alone. I said that we not only wanted Dad to be safe but we would also make sure he was happy.

My nephew and I went to the hospital to pick up Dad. We were a few minutes late because the parking was difficult. We could hear the staff talking about Dad as we approached his room. The nurse rushed out to greet us and said that she was so glad we finally made it. She said that Dad was not able to even remember how to walk. I couldn't believe it. He had been fine the night before. I couldn't imagine what could have happened or why the nurse wouldn't have noticed that he had some type of stroke during the night.

I walked into Dad's room and he said, "Nan, you made it." The nurse was completely surprised and exclaimed, "He recognizes you!" I began to realize that the problem must not be Dad. Perhaps the nurse just didn't realize that Dad was hard of hearing. I leaned down close to Dad and said, "Dad, if you want to go home, you have to show this nurse that you are able to walk." He practically leaped out of the wheelchair and ambled out of the room. From the expression on the nurse's face, you would have thought that Lazarus had risen from the dead. She said that if we hadn't arrived, they were planning to give him Ativan to make him more compliant.

This experience made me wonder what people do when they don't have family and friends to advocate for them. My father was mistaken for a completely senile person who needed to be sedated. And this was probably because he was hard of hearing. How can this happen? Hospital nurses must deal with the elderly on a regular basis. They should be trained to work sensitively with them and determine their needs appropriately.

Tags & Keywords : Elderly parent, Caregiving