I can remember when I was younger my father telling me about his granny making him pick a stick off the tree for his "switching." If he didn't pick an adequate stick then granny would pick the switch, and dad would say "you didn't want granny to pick the switch." It is funny to him now but, I am sure he wasn't laughing at the time though. I never thought about what kind of discipline I would us once I found out I was having a baby. I know now I should have done some research, because once it was time to discipline my son, I had no clue what to do or say. So I kinda feel bad because he was my experimental child. I will admit that I went through a spanking phase thinking, "That's what my parents did to me so, It must be OK." I started to see that my son wasn't really reacting to the spankings. He was not learning the respect and the authority for me that wanted him to. He was making ,me angry and I realized that I was using it to take out my anger and it wasn't teaching him anything. It seems that with my with my own research, that spanking did not work. I decided to go out and research what other people where saying about the issue. This is what I came up with, spanking is violent and is intended to physically hurt a child. When you spank, you think," I want them to remember that this hurt so they won't do it again." So in turn you are inflicting pain on purpose. The other that I came up with, that it is not only destructive for the child, but the parent as well. When you hurt your child you start to feel guilty. You are lashing out in anger to hit your child. How is that any different than people that abuse there children? Also I found that spanking a child doesn't help with discipline at all that it only temporaily fixes the problem. Children don't go on to be respectful but develop more behavioral problems in the long run. Also studies showed that the longer you spank the less effective it becomes as the child grows older. So, with all that what is the correct way to discipline our children? I will say from my personal experiance that time out's work very well. I feel alot better about sitting my child on a bench rather than leaving a hand print on his butt. The best way that you can use time out and expect for it to work, is to be persistant and constant in your discipline. For example, I give my child two chance's if the issue isnt too bad, then he/she will go to time out if they decide not to listen. If the issue is bad or has recently been addressed then they go to time out as soon as I see them doing whatever it may be. Also time out's work well because of the anger issuse, you put your child in time out it gives you time to think about how to react to the issue instead of screaming. This seems to work for me pretty well and seems to be a pretty effective way with both parent and child. My children aren't perfect and I still have issues with them ,of course but I feel like I have more control over the issues instead of them walking all over me I have an effective to discipline them. The biggest thing I think parent's need to learn is patience and tolerance. Children respond and react to how you are acting, so if you blow up they are going to blow up, anger only makes it worse. Remeber they are following you so you half to set the path for them and that means they are always watching, so none of that do as I say crap. That doesn't work for children. Love your kids and pay attention, sometimes the biggest problem to them is the easiest simplest fix.

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