A will is one of the most sensitive topics you may ever have to discuss with your parents. However, it's important for you to find out whether your parents have made their wills. And if they haven't, you should encourage them to do so. Talking about wills doesn't come easily to anyone. Nevertheless, sometimes you have to get up your nerve and dive in.

One obvious reason why the subject is uncomfortable is because a will is associated with the death of your parent. This is an event we will someday have to face, yet it's certainly not something most of us want to talk about, particularly with our parents. The best time to talk about wills is when your parent is still healthy and independent. Discussing these matters well ahead of time is less stressful and less threatening than having this conversation when your parent is ill or dying.

Talking about a will also means talking about money, which is another sensitive topic for many families. If your parent has considerable assets, any concern about a will may make you seem greedy. Your parent may think that you are just interested in getting your hands on the money. Conversely, if your parent has few assets or has used up his savings to pay for long term care, he may feel embarrassed that he has nothing to leave to his children. Either way, there's potential for awkwardness.

When you finally take the plunge and bring up the subject, acknowledge how difficult and uncomfortable it is for you to talk about it. Reassure your parent that you are not concerned about the money, because she is far more important to you than any material things. Make it clear to your parent that you just want to make sure that her assets and possessions go to the people she wants them to go to, according to her wishes.

Advise your parent to go to a lawyer, rather than using a do-it-yourself will kit. A will kit may be cheaper, but if it is not completed correctly, or if there is anything complicated about the estate, you could run into problems. Offer to come to the meeting with the lawyer if that would make your parent more comfortable.

Before seeing the lawyer, your parent should make up a list of assets and beneficiaries. This can take some time and thought. Another important feature of a will is the naming of an executor. Your parent must choose an executor who is likely to outlive him and is capable of carrying out the will's directions. It's best to ask this person in advance and make sure he or she agrees to take on the role. It's also wise to name a back-up executor in case the primary executor is unable to do the job.

A will is legally binding only if it's prepared when your parent is mentally competent. If the point might be challenged later, steps should be taken to prove your parent was competent at the time the will was prepared. It may be a matter of getting a doctor's assessment in writing. Consult with the lawyer if this is a concern.

Don't put off this important discussion and don't wait until something bad happens. Trying to get a proper will drawn up when your parent is ill or not thinking clearly will be extremely painful. There is also the risk that the courts will not accept a will that was prepared during a dire situation. In that case, the court could ignore the will and divide your parent's property according to state law.