I held on so tight while my daughter passed in my arms, I cried so hard. Her pour helpless body layed lifeless after turning of the machiness. Now she is at peace. I had never in my life felt so much pain. You feel helpless because there is nothing you can do to save them.
After she died I always had people telling how sorry they are and they understand howI felt. It use to really bother me when they would say that. I know they ment well but to me you can not understand if you have never experienced the same thing. If I could I would shelter everyone from this happening but we have no control of what is ment to happen in our lives.
I grew up believing your not suppose to out live your children. I've had people tell before get over and get on with my life, this was after she passed. You don't just get over it. You learn to live with it day by day. You have your good days and you have your bad days. There are days that my heart feels so heavy and a uncontrollable pain lingures in the pit of your stomach. I sit
and cry and cry. After awhile it passes but only to return another day.
Sometimes when I'm out somewhere I'll see these happy families with their children and they will have this beautiful little girl with blonde curely hair and I sit and wonder what would Taylor look like now. How ouwld she be/ How would she act? I can't bring myself to watch these shows where bad thing happen to children, little babies laying in the hospital dieing.
I'll see on tv these people killing their own children and I can't understand why. Children are a blessing. They are a gift from God. Some people can't even have their own children. To me if you really don't want the child give the child a chance with someone that would love them more than life it's self. Everyone derserves a chance.
I'm writing this to let others know that they are not alone. There are others out there that do really understand what they are going through. For along time you go through life thinking your all alone your the only one going through it but your not. It's always nice to know someone out there truely understands. Kelly Moyle
