One of the problems a parent has with babies is that they grow up and they don't just stop at toddler stage, unfortunately, it is usually at the latter stages of being a toddler that most parents start thinking about how to discipline the child. TOO LATE!

It would be great if there were a one-size-fits-all solution, but unfortunately, there is not, and the most formative years for a child are between its 1st and 8th birthday. Those 7 years are critical to the development of an adult and there is no manual how to do it. It is very much a D-I-Y with a little guidance from your parents and peer group. Just how good their advice is must be tempered with the fact that you are a parent 24 hrs a day and it is a long time since your parents had the same sort of demands and the world is changing.

What should not change however is the view that as a parent you are very responsible for the development of a new future adult who may have a great influence on mankind? That is how important the task of parenting is.

Good parenting involves good discipline and motivation in the development of the child between 1 & 8. It is after this time that the child starts to really be influenced by peer groups, teachers and other outside sources, so the work you do in the very early formative years is critical as to how your child views and reacts to the demands placed upon it in later years.

So what is good discipline? One thing it does not involve is corporal punishment it does however take parental creativity, consistency and dedication. Also, it may involve taking your parents to one side and gently telling them how you are approaching your discipline regime and what you expect of them.  

Toddlers are not disobedient on purpose, they have short memories, and life is full of discovery. It is at toddler stage that they learn that standing on two feet is not as easy as it looks, the corner of the table is harder than their head,  those red things in the hearth that flicker are hot and all that is brown is not chocolate. But just as you persevere with teaching a child to walk even though it falls over many times, so you must apply the same doctrine when teaching discipline. Loving guidance is much more effective that screaming and yelling or spanking, even though you have to count to twenty (ten is often not enough).

If you start the discipline routine at a very early age, that is before toddler, short sentences as a request are usually more effective in the discipline routine, such as 'We sit at the table for our meals'. Let the child make a choice of clothes to wear if they throw a tantrum when you get out what you like. This takes the emphasis off the battle and helps the child feel in control.

Try to use positive words when making  a request, words such as 'Don't do that, Don't touch that', are not only hard to understand for many adults let alone toddlers, better to say something like, 'Put your hands behind your back and just look'.

Always remember that whether you like it or not YOU are your child’s most important role model, if they see you yelling and screaming that is exactly what they will do to attract your attention. Remaining calm will result in a child that grows into a calm person.

Living with a toddler is not easy but it is such a rewarding role if discipline is seen as a fun thing and carried out during those early formative years, and it does make life easier as the toddler turns into a teenager but that is another story.

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