Several years ago, Oldsmobile attempted to attract a new generation of buyers by trying to convince potential car purchasers that the new Oldsmobile of the day was not the same ol' Oldsmobile their fathers once owned. By using this marketing tool, Oldsmobile hoped to shed an image of a vehicle that was loved by an older generation. They attempted to create a separation between two generations of children and fathers. This belief was grounded in the idea that children did not want to resemble their fathers.

Over the years, I have often thought about this commercial. Was the message true? Did it describe my relationship with my own mom and dad? Does it reflect my relationship with my own sons? Or with my students?

My own personal experiences in school seem to verify that Oldsmobile was on to something, but only half right. As a child, I spent much of my time trying to prove how I was not like my parents. My dad was my high school Principal, and he was, at the time, the last person I wanted to resemble. I dare to guess that many parents see this same thing in their children. It is natural for children to attempt to stray from the direction you desire for them. In fact, many may even take pleasure in frustrating you to a point where you question whether they will ever appreciate the wisdom and care you share with them each day.

While Oldsmobile was correct in noting that childhood is often about a rebellion from old traditions (and old Daddy's and Mama's), I think they may have forgotten what often happens when all of us school-age rebels grow up. The fact is, each year as I grow older, I become more and more like my parents. As my wife and I raise three boys, I have come to respect the time and effort my parents put forth in raising my siblings and me. I recognize all the positive attributes my parents possessed, and I often see my mother and father in the mirror as I love and discipline my own children.

In the end, I think most of our children will do exactly what we did. They will realize that they are spitting images of us and will appreciate all we have given to them over these difficult years. If we do it right as parents, they will appreciate not only the discipline, rules, and structure we give them, but I hope they will also say that we gave them the space to be themselves and to think for themselves. Our kids will form their own path in life, and it may not be exactly what we would have chosen for them. Make no mistake, however. I believe we will see more and more of ourselves in our children as they progress toward adulthood, even in their different paths.

I encourage you to stay attentive to your children and be consistent in your expectations of them. Also, be understanding when they fight you at every turn and try to remember yourself at this age. Take solace in the fact that you are not the only ones struggling to raise a child. Then, as they grow and mature over the next several years, enjoy their transformation into images of you and watch as they come to the realization, "This Is Your Father's Oldsmobile".

Tags & Keywords : Parenting